Justin's Tribute to Asher

The week after Asher was born Justin had to write a tribute speech for his public speaking class at BYU. He wrote it about Asher. I thought it was beautiful. Here it is:

Most tribute speeches are written to those whom we have known for quite some time, or perhaps to others who have gone before but we know and admire them through their accomplishments and character. My tribute is to a person who I’ve known for a very short time, though it feels like I’ve known him a very long time. In fact, he’s only been in this world for less than a week. This person has taught me patience, trust in God, love, and what the word father means. This person is my son, Asher.

Asher Mckay was born April 4, 2007 at 5:39 am. He is our first child, and we have greatly anticipated his arrival. He was due to be born on March 24, putting his arrival a week and a half later than predicted. This is one way he’s taught me patience. Sometimes I can do something about the wait, but this time all I could do was wait. All I wanted to do was to meet my little son, but he told me to be patient. Needless to say, the wait was worth it.

My wife labored for about a day and a half leading up to his birth. When the time was right and with the help of the midwife she began to deliver, pushing when the contractions came. She started pushing around 1:00 am, but the contractions were not frequent enough to be effective. The midwife decided to wait until they were closer together so that my wife and the baby wouldn’t get worn out. After a while, the contractions still were not any closer, and despite good pushing on the part of my wife there was little to no progress. As they watched his heart rate, it would drop during contractions then stay low for a short period following, which caused the doctor to worry slightly. After a little more time and more “lates” as the doctor called them, he suggested that a cesarean section may be necessary. I was worried for my wife because I knew she didn’t want a c-section; what I didn’t know at the time was that she knew it was what needed to be done and had no reservations. I went into the bathroom and prayed; I prayed that my wife’s body would work how it should in order to push the baby out, that she and the baby would have strength and that everything would work out and we could avoid the c-section. During a short rest period his heart rate dropped twice during normal contractions and it was decided that the c-section would be necessary. I wondered what was wrong with me; was my faith too weak? Fortunately, the c-section went smoothly and without incident. As they delivered my son the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice, most likely the cause of his heart rate drops.

Thinking back I realized that God was in control. See, the interesting thing is that my wife was almost fully dilated when she received an epidural, and her contractions were practically one on top of the next. When it came time to deliver however, they weren’t coming any closer than 6-8 minutes apart, which the midwife said was very atypical; even trying to “help” with small amounts of pitocin did nothing. God did answer my prayer in the way that he knew was best. If my wife would have been able to push, Asher could have been seriously injured during delivery. We truly believe He slowed her contractions, and while he was born healthy and without complication despite the c-section, he really is our miracle baby. That’s how my week old son taught me to trust God, having barely been in this world.

He has taught me love and what it means to be a father simply by being here. Like my wife, he inspires me to be a better man. I realize that someday he will be watching everything I do, and that it is my privilege and responsibility to teach this amazing child of our Heavenly Father. That is how Asher has taught me what it means to be a father; and that is how someone so small, so new, can teach those of us who at times think we are so big and so wise.